u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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