He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
