I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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