My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
