I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
