Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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