Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
