They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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