I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
