I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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