No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
