You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize