More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
is it fun? or sober?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
