i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
