Midget sex pt 2 tonight
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
