I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
