Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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