Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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