jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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