Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
