There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
