my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
