Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
