Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
