Your mouth is God's brothel.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How does one acquire holy water?
My bed smells like the plague
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
