That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize