Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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