i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
