I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
ok first of all what the fuck
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
