he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
