I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
