dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
