Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
