i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
