that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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