Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
