haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
