i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
