# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
