your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
