There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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