I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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