I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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