So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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