Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
