totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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