handjob tips. give me some.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
