you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize