I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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