Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
