If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
