And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
