We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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