WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
