Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
