I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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