Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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